Sunday, June 18, 2006

Shelves and stuff

Let's just pretend I never left the room. Let's pretend I kept my Blog House pretty, neat and clean.
That makes it easier to tell about the grand and wonderous ability to build shelves. You know I never claimed to be a mechanic, or a carpenter, or an electrician, or a plumber. That is why I never offer to fix anybody's car, unless you count putting in gas because that does fix a car's problem sometimes; never build "stuff"; don't do anything more complicated than replace a light bulb, and I only use a plunger because that's all I'm qualified to do in a bathroom besides all the natural stuff.
So, why would I attempt to build a shelf for the shed? It's a new era where the Internet instills a false sense of "ability" that's why. I thought it would be nice to get a freezer for the shed, since more than a couple of deer, elk, and moose make their way into my sights. I needed room and I thought if we stacked UP then there would be room for the freezer.
The only thing was that I wasn't very attentive. When we built all our houses as a kid, I never took notes from my dad on even the smallest things like how to drive a nail all the way in with just three hits. So, in the absence of my father's immediate presence, I took to the new teacher: the Internet. I typed in Shelves. I found out a new term was abundant in the Internet: shelving unit. It even sounds technical. I looked at a bunch of sites that gave directions about how to build them and found that there are a lot more ways to screw it up than I ever dreamed possible. Anyway, I got the call that there was a freezer at a yard sale for $50 dollars. Whoo wee! Away I went and I bought it. It's one of those older ones that's upright with the freezer tubes on each shelf, nice! Now to clear out the shed. put the freezer in and shazam! I was in business. Now how am I gonna get all that stuff back in. I had all this excess plywood and 2x4s but they didn't make a "shelving unit." Not yet anyway.
In that moment, the Internet seed grew in my psyche. I knew I could do it. If you were watching, it would look akin to a child learning to walk. I cut the four corner supports and then set them up against the wall to "see how it should go." Then I cut some more support and connecting beams, and I thought I was ready. I got half of it together and what a stroke of luck: I thought I should check to see if it would fit in before I put it entirely together. Luck was with the child that day! Good thing I checked. I put the half in and then attached the other half to it. I didn't know how many nails to use so the order of the day was, "the more the better!" Then I cut my plywood fit, perfectly even one might say!
I even measured twice and cut once on each piece. In the end it still looked kind of wobbly, the connections, so a new order was born! More BIGGER nails must be better!
It worked, none of the connections moved when I shook the unit. I purposely left room to create a space between one wall and the end. That's where the long handled tools would rest safely.
A few roofing nails with those fancy grooves to keep the plywood from coming loose and I was in business.
I started this at about 3 in the afternoon. I was done a mere seven and a half hours later. It's amazing how three shelves can come to life in seven and a half hours. (remember the child learning to walk picture).
As I type, the freezer is empty but running. It sits next to a shelf with literally all the stuff stacked neatly on each shelf. It is still standing, and unless an elephant walks across it, I'm pretty sure those last gigantic nails will hold.
Onward to bigger better things. I found a parts list for my helpless 87 Honda Prelude, but I can't figure out what tools I'm gonna need to replace the vacuum seal on the number one cylinder. Someone told me after the diagnostic that it was major engine work.
But I figure with my shelving unit license, I'm just barely qualified.